Sustainability in my hands

You will find sustainability in me
and what that means is
I will never
leave you alone with this
in life
in the mornings
in the golden hours
in art
in messages
in cold.

My hands will sustainably hold yours.

We love in different ways

We have accepted the fact
that everybody grows
in different paces.

It's time to accept the fact
that we show love
in different ways.

I make a fool out of myself.
You remember everything.
I am soft but stubborn.
You give your all to the things you like.
I fight loudly.
You fight slowly.

#writewithrupi snippets

A list of things in my mind in the middle of the night

I still don't know how to draw
Her movement
I sleep too little
Quarantine
Would like to have a long walk again
Telenovelas
Time with him
Who should I video-call next?
My lips hurt
Touching you

#writewithrupi snippets

Dear _______
I have been dying to tell you
I can't wait to hold you.
I can't. I can't. I can't.

Your eyes comfort me.
But I can't look for long.
Because I know that the sandstorm in them
will take over me.
You will take over me.

And my eyes…
my eyes can't hold secrets.
So I can't look. And you can't watch.

Your touch shouldn't feel like this.
Like the air in the room
gets thicket.
Like cotton fields whisking with the wind.
I rise with the touch.
I blossom.

I'm falling. I might be falling? Shit.
I want in. And out. In or out?
I need to get out?

But I never send this.

We will soon meet (again)

This morning was the first morning
in a long time
when I woke up
with the sun.

The whole world was asleep
well
if not the whole world then at least
my street.

I woke up thinking why things had to turn out the way
they did.
I muted my stubbornness and tried to accept that
everything is not in my control.

Change of plans at 1:27pm

The moment everything crashes
is the moment I realise
it must happen now –
so something greater would come out of it.

The moment everything crashes
I can't find myself to be
the bigger person
who would understand
who would be calm
who would be quiet.

The moment I realised
that a lot of plans
and dreams
and wishes
are on a pause…

was the moment I took a deep breath in
and
kept on living.

They will come again
soon.

1.27 days in quarantine

I would love to wake up
next to you
for once

to see you first thing
in the morning
for once

whenever
wherever
for once

breathe in the winter morning
that wishes to become spring
together
for once

experience what it feels.

But I also would love to
keep this between me and
me.