Connection

Connecting with people is strange - strangely beautiful.
It might be with someone you feel like you could talk till the end of time. Or with someone who shares the same humour and all you do is laugh - and that truly is enough for you two.
Sometimes you connect with a person only by sharing few words. Yet magically every time you see, you share a look that says more than thousand words ever could. Feels like you share a secret... of a great connection.
Some connections might brake, but they also might grow back together. Time heals and gives reasons to try again.
There will be humans who will come into your life, pick you up, swirl you around and then fly to the next one. But hey, all you can do is say "Thanks for coming! Thanks for showing me a good time!"
Most possibly there will be the ones who will make you feel infinite, make you a better person, put a smile on your heart.
And most possibly there will be the ones who will take that infinity away from you in a second.
Process of connections.

But in the end, it's good to feel something.
At least something. Doesn't matter if it's good or not.
It's something.

Aim for connection not for perfection. 
It's more inspiring. And humanly lovely. 

Travel MEGA-MIX '15

Only some tiny bits and pieces. 

Some years will give you the questions and the next ones will answer them.
The year 2015 was full of weird places, questionable situations and moments. It was the year of not documenting everything but questioning everything.
Now it's pretty clear that the questions needed to be out there... 'cause now, in 2016, the answers are slowly showing up - I am more showing up.

I wish I could just keep moving. Life will throw opportunities until I finally understand, grab them and run with them. My butt hurts of sitting on a chair. It would be different if it would be on an airplane... So let's change that.
My soul is already running. My body just needs to catch up with it.

Universe is giving us all the tools, people, moments and lessons. But it doesn't provide us time.
The time is now... if not now, then when? 

Elu võib naljakas olla

Mu hing ja mina ei hooli,
mis kell sa tuled.
Peaasi, et ootamatuse sa kaasa tood.

Mu hing ja mina ei hooli,
mis sulle nalja teeb.
Sest naer on teine kui nali.

Elu võib naljakas olla.
Kuid ta ei ole nali.

Mul on paha olla

Mul on paha olla. Seisan maa peal, aga hoian hinge kinni. Olen füüsiliselt keeldunud jooksmast kuid miski tormab ja otsib vaikust. Ma ei ole kunagi osanud aega peatada ning kes oskakski... kuid nüüd, hetkel, praegu võiks.
Mul on paha olla. Võõrutusravist. Unustades sõnu "ma ei taha" või "ma kardan, et". Võib-olla seda tunnevatki sõltuvuses inimesed - seda füüsilist jonnakust ja tahet saada tagasi mugavusstsooni kuid hoides sees lootust, isegi kui see on kahtlemist täis, ohuergas, eksimispelgas. See lootus peab olema järelejätmatum kui jonn.
Mul on paha olla. Seal kaugel mõeldakse mu peale ja mina vahel unustan ka selle, mis seisab mu ees. Seal oodatakse, igatsetakse ja toetatakse rohkem, kui mina siin neid, kes seisavad mu kõrval.
Mul on paha olla. Meretuul lülitab mu varsti välja ning ma pigistan silmad kinni - et mitte tunnistada.

Mul on paha olla.
Kuid see on märk, et varsti hakkab parem. Saame visata jalad taeva poole ja keskpäeval unustada kõik kohustused.

Mul on paha olla.
Kuid see on märk elus olemisest.

I've been romanticising about staying

Home is good and home is well. I'm good in home and I'm well. 

The magic of staying with yourself is that there's room for everything. Room for your own thoughts, room for your needs, food, sleep and time. 

Most importantly, there's room for others. For those who have fallen back on your mind, who you did not know you missed because you missed yourself more. Hey, but now when you have 'you', you understand that 'you' is enough... but it's always good to make dinner for two. Or four. Or get a drive-through. 

It's the stupidest excuse ever "I missed myself more". But life happens. And that happened. 

As long as get to home again... it's going to work out. 

You are good. You are well. 

Take good care of the good ones as well. 

"Don't tell me that you 'just don't get it' because I know you do."

Nädalavahetuse kompass

Kogu mu tuba on täidetud kollaka-roosaka päikesetõusu kumaga ning ainus asi, mis minus külmetab on mu varbad. Ja ainus asi, mis mulle sooja annab, lisaks pehmele suletekile, on mu süda.

Viimased päevad on olnud täis kõhtu kõditavat naeru, lähedust, uusi-vanu tuttavaid, uusi-vanu armastajaid, uusi-vanu uudiseid. Kõige selle uue-vana keskel seisin mina, nautides olukorda, kus tulevikku ei tea ja minevik oli meeltelt pühitud. 

Seisin ja pühksin pisara, tänasin, naersin ja taipasin: "Kui see ei ole miski, mis mind õnnelikuks teeb... siis ma ei tea, mis olekski." 

Isegi kui mu jalad või õigemini jalg mind enam ei kandnud, ei jäänud ma ka seisma. Ma ei saa endale keelata üllatusi ja võimalusi, mis soovivad mu elus mu kõrvale seista. 

Nii ma seisin sellega, usaldades ennast ja vaadates, kas see usaldab mind ka. 

Alma koos Chase Grace "Compass" kotiga. 

Can I tell you a secret: single serving size

"Can I tell you a secret?
You don't have to be in a relationship.

I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren't pretty unless they're wanted. Boy's aren't men unless they're having sex with someone. People aren't lovable until they're dating someone.

But a relationship won't always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn't the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples when they swear it's forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore.
I have heard so often "nobody loves me" out of the mouth of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, you classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn't count. Of course it counts.

It is pretty to be in love. It's magical, I'm sure. But it's also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It's also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.
The problem is: we're made everything about "the one." But maybe "the one" is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for out other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.

Maybe I wasn't born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better."

- Single serving size

Maybe you don't realise that in the end of the day you are happy with what you have. 

Maybe you don't realise that you are already in love. Love just works in different ways and forms. And your way is not worse because some others could not handle it that way.

Maybe your ways are... the best... for you. 

Not maybe. They really are.