Petersburg 1.27 my lips

My lips
are meant for
kind words
and to be touched
by only yours.
But of course
sometimes
to be confused
and misunderstood
about how
and why
and what
makes me forget
myself and the love
I feel.


Mu huuled
on loodud
lahketeks sõnadeks
ning puudutamaks
ainult sinu omi.
Kuid muidugi
vahel ka
segaduseks ning
valesti mõistmiseks,
et kuidas
ja miks
ja mis
paneb mind unustama iseenda
ning armastuse
mida tunnen.

Suudelda Peterburi

Ma ei jaga suudlusi inimestele, aga hüpoteetiliselt jagan ma neid endale, igale tundele ja asjale, mis paned mind tundma seda midagi - olla suudlemisaldis. Ja ma suudlen narratiive, mis lõppevad ja sadamast lahkuvaid laevu. Suudlen romanssi ja neid, mida kunagi tegelikult ei suudleks. Suudlen vaikselt ja vahel lärmiga; suudlen, et sulada kokku ja kõndida eemale. Ma suudlen postkaarte, mida kunagi ära ei saada ja uut pinda, mida suudelda ei taha. Ja ülekõige suudlen ma ohkeid, mis väljendavad lahti laskmist või õndsaimat rahulolu.
Ma suulen ära oma valu ja suudlen siia oma täielikkuse.

Petersburg 1.27

Kuid kallis,
tuleta endale meelde,
et sina oled
sina.
Kogu ilu ja
kogu kaos on sinu.
Kogu päev ja
kogu öö on vaid sinu.
Kogu lahtilaskmata hirm
ja otsustusvõimetus
ei ole sina.
Kogu valu ja
kogu häda
ei ole sina.
Sa oled maksimaalne päikesepaiste,
kuuvarjutus, öö
ja igatsus.
Mitte kunagi
liiga palju,
lihtsalt maksimaalselt
sina.


But darling,
keep in mind
that you are
you.
All the beauty and
all the chaos is you.
All the day and
all the night is you.
All the unfinished fear
and misconduct
is not you.
All the pain and
all the trouble
is not you.
You are the maximum amount of sun,
eclipse, night
and longing.
But you are never
too much of something,
you are simple the maximum amount of
yourself.

127 beautiful marks

I want to be

Christmas lights

and the snow on their nose

and eat every colour 

on the colouring board,

to feel and not to pose.

I want my big eyes

to speak

about where I've been

and my enormous heart 

to show

the love I see. 

I can't help but wonder

why on earth I let myself

be hidden in the dark

when everything 

I've ever loved

has left so many beautiful marks. 

"It's not me, trust me" 

has made them 

so confused. 

But it's not me, trust me,

you haven't seen the 

real one fully...

it's making me confused too. 

Laugh and find the light

and the vulnerability in me.

I am much more

what meets the eye,

you... and I

soon can see. 

1:27am at Christmas Eve

Külmakraadid
suudlesid
mu põski
ning ma arvasin,
et nüüd olen
armastatud.
Ei arvanud.
Vaid olingi.


Freezing air
kissed
my cheeks
and I thought
that now I am
loved.
I didn't think so.
I really was.

It was not 1:27 but I was feeling it...

From this time on
my promise
to myself is
to take care
of myself first.
I do not
care anymore
about hypothetical thoughts,
about hypothetical
things
and words
and promises.
I care about
well being.
Simply being.
About how and who
puts the stars
in my sky
and eyes,
about why
I want to be
kissed and killed by the sea.
I care about what makes
me
me...
and what
makes me
dance in my poetry.

Your 127 perfections

Kellena sa ennast näed,
mu tüdruk,
on vähe selle kõrval,
kes sa oled.
Sinu ees hajub udu.
Mäed liiguvad lähemale.
Sa neelad päikese
ja kallistad kuud.
Vihm suudleb sind
ja su koduks saab terve maailm.
Ühele oled sa kevadelilled,
teisele jõulutuled.
Ma ei lase kellelgi
sind taksitada.
Eriti sinul endal.


How you see yourself,
my girl,
is less than
who you already are.
Fog dissipates in front of you.
The hills will move closer.
You swallow the sun
and hug the moon.
The rain kisses you
and the whole world
becomes your home.
For someone you might be
spring flowers,
but to others christmas lights.
I won't let anybody
hinder you.
Especially from
yourself.