Unfolding for 1:27

Things are unfolding
and all I can really do
is sit back
and watch them
effortlessly unfold,
sit back
and watch it all happen,
sit back
and finally let it bloom.

The most powerful thing right now
is to be patience.

To enjoy the process of opening.

127 beautiful marks

I want to be

Christmas lights

and the snow on their nose

and eat every colour 

on the colouring board,

to feel and not to pose.

I want my big eyes

to speak

about where I've been

and my enormous heart 

to show

the love I see. 

I can't help but wonder

why on earth I let myself

be hidden in the dark

when everything 

I've ever loved

has left so many beautiful marks. 

"It's not me, trust me" 

has made them 

so confused. 

But it's not me, trust me,

you haven't seen the 

real one fully...

it's making me confused too. 

Laugh and find the light

and the vulnerability in me.

I am much more

what meets the eye,

you... and I

soon can see. 

November December Poteto Potato

Reminders: 

Be with your close ones

Find the light

Or start to enjoy the darkness

Christmas always helps

Laughter also helps

Clean your mind, place, relationships, obligations, surrounding

Clean yourself also

Stay present 

Season of gratefulness

It's the season of gratefulness.
And I am most grateful for those who make the best out of me. Without saying anything, without trying, without guiding. Those who inspire me to dance and write, who inspire me to quit whatever is not good for my soul and for those who just randomly swing into my life and decide to stay. Grateful for those who share hugs and maybe only quick "Hello"-s, but leaving me with so much - their energy, laughter, warmth, silliness and hope. The ones who decide to fight for their own creation and are always up spirit... even when things aren't going the way they naturally planned.
I am most grateful for those who have taught how not to be jealous and taught me that I simply need to do the things for myself... so I can help others. For those who move me when I need a push and for those who see me when I need a time for a break.
It's the season of gratefulness.
And even though it has been the year of hunger games, endless tears and honest fights... it has also been the most wonderful year full of connection and humour.
Connecting with people I never though I would connect this way.
Re-connecting, just-met-ting, out-growing.
Being so high. And the lowest I've ever experienced.
Luckily now there's only one way to climb back up. With laughter. With humour. With hope and revolution in me.
With heart full of gratefulness.

Year full of unlucky decisions... and extremely lucky accidents.

Christmas feelings

A year can change a lot. And nothing much. 

This time of the year is finally here again. I always start waiting the next one when the last one finishes. I start preparing for the new one way too early. I start smelling and feeling and singing out the happiness a month or two before. It's one hell of a good time of the year. Tears, wine, laughter, love and cold weather has a power of making the most exciting mixed drink of all. There's no Christmas without sadness. Or without laughter that even hurts your bones. There's no Christmas without family coming together, celebrating, arguing and making up the same time. Or friends coming together with alcohol to share and memories to make. There's no Christmas without realising how blessed and happy you are. No Christmas without winter. No Christmas without long-time-no-see friends. No Christmas without exciting news and endless movies. 

Christmas is always good. If you make it a good one. 

It's the same with life.

Trust me. 

I have an incredible skill to turn the bad into good. And make strangers think I'm doing amazingly. And make myself think I'm doing fantastic. 

And despite the fact that I think I'm doing good... I actually am. 

More than good.

Do you ever take a chance, my dear?

Because you know I will... 

If I could I would spend the rest of my life as happy as I was the last weekend. Including Friday. Including today. Including the few sleeping hours, laughter in my veins, sweet talks and dancing. Even including the food, phone calls, old friends, new friends, Christmas and thinking hours. 

I've been wanting to cry for a week. For a reason. For a justified reason. But to quote Hamlet act III, scene III, line 92 "No." I couldn't. I guess the breathing ones were the reason. I got infected with joy and gratitude. 

I got bitten by a life bug. 

Season of realisation

If you never see, you'll never know. 

A Sunday walk with a good friend will make you realise what needs to be held close. The city lights, frozen lips, eyes full of christmas sparkle and heart full of warmness is the most perfect symptoms for winter. A Sunday talk with a good friend will take you to topics you'll never regret telling. People are wandering around. Finally are not ashamed of their emotions. Towards the city, the coldness, the love.
A Sunday walk will clear your head and leave the good things inside. You'll realise the small things. The big things. The things that you think that doesn't matter. The things that you have been missing.
A Sunday walk will make you realise.
About how beautiful Sundays are.
How beautiful life is.

Iseendale

"Kõik, mis sa teed, teed kõik endale." 

Take a day to be completely useless. Take this day and lay on the sofa, drink litres of tea and be real. Find your true feelings. Think what's going to happen next. Eat your favourite dishes, watch your favourite films and reload. Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it. Those are the perks of being a true human being. 

And don't be scared to wake up next day... and leave the sofa. 

“Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don’t be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are.”

—	Kristin Armstrong

holiday

So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More Compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.

Max Christmas feast with all my family. Breathtaking. Literally. 

Being home and resting your head on your own pillow - feels quite amazing after being so busy not even realising what a beautiful 'thing' this called 'life' is. 

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Nights are meant for dreaming. Making plans. Maybe doing some of them. Setting goals. 

Days are meant to wander around. Make plans true. And a little bit more. Achieve goals. See everything that night darkness was hiding. And make plans. Make plans for nights. 

Life is meant for living. 

dreaming. 

wandering. 

doing. 

searching. 

and.

loving. 

Christmas night with my "sister from another mister," gift exchange and making gingerbreads. 

Lots of sushi and wine and laughter. Perfect christmas night! 

 "La Traviata" in Estonia National Opera house, Vapiano time with Dan, two days of football games and Christmas night with Dan - peanut butter truffles!

E13

And half of the semester is over. Some of us left. Some of us are still standing strong. And I am smiling through tears, because I have been lucky enough to meet so many amazing people.

Adventures in Odense

No. 2

For the last few days we have been watching a huge amount of Christmas movies. Starting with Home Alone, Elf, Polar Express, The Holiday etc. 

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year - as they sing. And for me it means going home, being with my family and friends and enjoying my precious time in amazing Estonia. Counting days…

Let yourself be alone. Loneliness is not a bad thing. It is healthy and normal. Everyone needs to spend a good portion of their life alone. We learn who we are when we are alone; life is less crowded and more clear when we are alone.

Soon to be home

I'm sitting at the bottom of the mistletoe and waiting for you to come home. 


The christmas spirit is slowly and deeply getting into everybody's hearts.
Quietness in my heart. Clarity in my head. Can't wait to start a new day. Can't wait to go to sleep. Can't wait to visit home. Yet, at the same time, don't want to leave this place ether. 
Don't wish away your days, hoping for better ones ahead. 
Everything just falls into place.
This is what Christmas does to me. 

Gala 2013

One more reminder of how I am blessed to be surrounded by so many beautiful people. 

Here for a semester or two.

Friends for life. 

Getting ready for Gala with my roommate. 

Gala partner and a great evening.

Sisters from Denmark and Estonia. 

Getting slowly ready for December

In this world, it doesn't matter where you are.
All that matters is where are you going.

Get excited.

Friday evening in Svendborg. 

Let it snow, my darling.

I would really like to do a christmas present haul already. But sadly christmas is month away and I can't show pictures of those presents here. Shhh, they will see it!

But I already purchase some great gifts for the loved ones. I'm definitely going to do my christmas shopping soon, 'cause I know that in december I will be in a hurry with school, performances, work and exams. 

I'm having in mind to create one or few short movies too, if I have the time. (Which I hope I do!)

I'm loving today's weather: cold, lots of snow, christmas music, dance performance with Getter Jaani and quick act in Estonian National Opera house in "Manon."

Enjoy your winter weather. Enjoy the moments!

Simple room tour

I've decided to do a simple room tour. School ended early and so I had a lot of time to spend at home.

Camera - Fujifilm x10