Running 1:27am

He said

"A wolf would never become a pet" 

and I asked

"Then why do you still linger around

and want me to walk next to you?" 

He got mad

and didn't realize

I don't mind running together. 

127 heartbeats for spring

I smell like spring.
It's a different kind of season
the fresh wind strokes my cheeks
and messes up my hair.
Flowers take time to bloom
and I give them time

Because I took time to blossom as well.

The smell of the spring
brings new kind of peace.
Whatever is about to grow out of it
is good,
oh so damn good
in any way.

Trust the new moon

Babygirl
You just need a new moon
and one good, whole conversation
plus yourself
to understand that
there's some good in this world
in you

All the moon dust will fall into place
it will make your eyelids heavy but wake up your soul
You will see so many beautiful things
so many good people
you will see and feel them

Trust the wait
Trust, that universe has your back

127 weird tales

When I'm placing my hand

on my heart

I feel it living, I feel it breathing in stardust

and getting impulses

of going

forward 

and never, never

never

never going 

back. 

_______________

i don’t know

where to next

and i don’t care

im excited to go 

127 peonies

Peonies in my hand
and in my hear
and in my eyes.
Everything else
is
secondary.

Pojengid mu käes
ja mu juustes
ja mu silmades.
Kõik muu
on
teisejärguline.

Not your idea at 1:27am

Do not create
the idea of me
and then manifest it
over
and over again.
I'm not your idea.
I will not become the ideal.

Let me create
myself.
By myself.

1:27pm in Brussels

Here

And the only one

who is here as well,

who is always welcomed,

who is always wanted

and needed -

the only one who

can always be here

is me.

Gratefulness at 1:27

Everything has changed and yet nothing has changed. Yet still... almost everything has changed. 

Being electrified brought some pain and shivers, brought some hazy memories to lost and confusion to mind. But it also made me electrified for living. Being everything, doing everything and maybe, most possible even too much. 

I'm not even apologising if I have been too much. Too much here, too much everywhere. Too much up and too little down. Too lucky and too on a roll. 

Because I lost a lot. 

And I gained somehow, some freaking how, even more than I lost. 

Photo in Vilnius: LMTA 

By: Modestas Endriuška

Okay dokey at 1,27pm

Friendly reminder that sometimes you just have to say "okay dokey" and move on to the next thing. Or hold your own hand, and heart, and peace. Sometimes you just need to turn the other cheek and turn to the person who you are, or who has always been next to you. 

"Okay dokey" to the ones who decide to leave and to the ones who decide to make you the best version of yourself. Wish for the best, for yourself and them - you both need the support. 

And welcome the ones who come to your life, turn it upside down - the best way they can - and still stay. Still stay by your side. Near or far. 

"Okay dokey" to you. 

Changing mind at 1:27am

Kui sa muudad

oma meelt, 

siis karju või

hüüa 

või jookse rutuga;

kui sa muudad,

siis minu meel

tahab esimesena

seda

kuulda. 

If you change 

your mind 

then scream or

shout 

or run fast;

if you change

then my mind 

wants to be 

the first one

who hears

this.

127 segments

Ta ütles,
et siruta oma selg
ja siis ütle,
mida sa soovid.
Aga mul on
skolioos.


He said
to straighten my back
and then say
what I want.
But I have
scoliosis.

Future holds me

Whatever future holds it will hold me, it will hold my peace, excitement and you. Future will bring even more joy, if that's possible; even more love, if that's possible and even more accomplishments, if that's possible. It will hold me in my arms and make me realise I have room for plenty more. 

Future holds me in a warm embrace and then opens its palms when it's ready to move. 

It's calm in here. The place where I lay burns so strongly but it will never burn me. It will just warm me up for the future. 

And all I do is laugh with it because it will always, always plant me in the most richful places. 

What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet. 

Petersburg 1.27

Kuid kallis,
tuleta endale meelde,
et sina oled
sina.
Kogu ilu ja
kogu kaos on sinu.
Kogu päev ja
kogu öö on vaid sinu.
Kogu lahtilaskmata hirm
ja otsustusvõimetus
ei ole sina.
Kogu valu ja
kogu häda
ei ole sina.
Sa oled maksimaalne päikesepaiste,
kuuvarjutus, öö
ja igatsus.
Mitte kunagi
liiga palju,
lihtsalt maksimaalselt
sina.


But darling,
keep in mind
that you are
you.
All the beauty and
all the chaos is you.
All the day and
all the night is you.
All the unfinished fear
and misconduct
is not you.
All the pain and
all the trouble
is not you.
You are the maximum amount of sun,
eclipse, night
and longing.
But you are never
too much of something,
you are simple the maximum amount of
yourself.

Long story short

Long story short.
I remember the time when it was so dark. And not the just-put-on-some-lights dark, but more like there's-no-way-I-will-find-the-switch kind of dark. The questions went around where am I, should I be where I am and will the light be off from now on. Questioning if I was buried or planted?
Long story short.
I thought I was buried, but I was definitely planted.
Now I know for sure.

Long story short.
Blooming in the middle of autumn.

Très bien. Väga.

Ma ei karda enam külma,
sest sees on nii soe.
Mitte tuline,
aga soe.
Ning see on talve tulekuks
täiesti piisav.
Très bien.

Sügis x Mina

Mul pole midagi uut. Vana on hea ja uus ei ole enam uus.
Upun oma enese romantikasse ja uhkelt vaatan tagasi eelnevasse, ebamugavasse katsumusse. Proovin leida ka kohta praeguses katses või katsumuses, või katses katsetada katsumust. Kõige rohkem proovin mitte taas ette joosta. Kiirustada kõigega. Ma mäletan selgelt seda sügisest pärastlõunat kui kõndisin mööda kohtadest, mis olid nii võõrad - kuid kõndisin nagu teadsin neid, sest kohe tutvusin. Kõndisin mööda inimestest, kes olid nii võõrad - kuid möödusin ja teretasin neid, sest kohe tutvusin. Sel sügisel ma kõndisin iseendana iseendaga. Ja naeris nii valjult. Ja tegin mentaalse pildi igast heast hetkest.
Mul pole midagi uut. Aga vana võtaks küll. Me lubame, et vana tuleb tagasi - uude.

After 127 days I know better

The most horrifying
thing I ever did
was sabotaging
my own
happiness.


Kõige kohutavam asi,
mis ma kunagi tegin
oli saboteerida
minu enda
õnne.

Freedom at 1:27pm

Ma pole ammu
tundnud sellist vabandust,
tundmatu iseendana,
tundmata iseenda
vabadust.


I haven't felt
this kind of freedom
in a long time,
unknown to myself,
without knowing my own
freedom.

1:27pm is time for apricots

Aprikoosi vihm
ja mina
upun ära
lõpmatusse suvelõpu
rahulollu.
Kuidas nüüd nii hea?

Apricot shower
and I'm drowning
into never ending
summer ending's
joy.
How can it be so good now?

Tickling dreams

It was the time for
summer evening
in the city -
breathing in new faces,
new thoughts
but same,
good old
tickling dreams.

And I haven't felt this in a long time. Not knowing what it will bring, where I will stand or how uncomfortable it could get. Not knowing tomorrow but being certain it will be fine. Fine is better than extreme happiness and the opposite of that. It's good. It's stable. It's full of everything around it.
Haven't felt this alive... in a long time.
Seriously.
Ridiculous.