Christmas feelings

A year can change a lot. And nothing much. 

This time of the year is finally here again. I always start waiting the next one when the last one finishes. I start preparing for the new one way too early. I start smelling and feeling and singing out the happiness a month or two before. It's one hell of a good time of the year. Tears, wine, laughter, love and cold weather has a power of making the most exciting mixed drink of all. There's no Christmas without sadness. Or without laughter that even hurts your bones. There's no Christmas without family coming together, celebrating, arguing and making up the same time. Or friends coming together with alcohol to share and memories to make. There's no Christmas without realising how blessed and happy you are. No Christmas without winter. No Christmas without long-time-no-see friends. No Christmas without exciting news and endless movies. 

Christmas is always good. If you make it a good one. 

It's the same with life.

Trust me. 

I have an incredible skill to turn the bad into good. And make strangers think I'm doing amazingly. And make myself think I'm doing fantastic. 

And despite the fact that I think I'm doing good... I actually am. 

More than good.

Do you ever take a chance, my dear?

Because you know I will... 

If I could I would spend the rest of my life as happy as I was the last weekend. Including Friday. Including today. Including the few sleeping hours, laughter in my veins, sweet talks and dancing. Even including the food, phone calls, old friends, new friends, Christmas and thinking hours. 

I've been wanting to cry for a week. For a reason. For a justified reason. But to quote Hamlet act III, scene III, line 92 "No." I couldn't. I guess the breathing ones were the reason. I got infected with joy and gratitude. 

I got bitten by a life bug. 

Gather up your tears

keep them in your pocket. 

Save them for a time when you really gonna need them. 

Täna võib. 

I think about dying but I dont want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There’s so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I’m still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can’t quite figure out what the hell I’m doing or how to get out of it.” — Matty Healy.

rip, my love

Stay human

I learned to love those small things that we often forget.
I learned to love them in a new condition.

'

To have a morning coffee with mountain breeze while it messes up your ponytail. To be with your own thoughts, own your time and own your breaths. To look up to the sky and truly see the sky. To have time to collect your emotions and lose the ones you don't need. To become a part of the rain, the sun and feel the ground under you. To walk aimlessly but still stay determined. To know that life has its ups and down just like the landscape around you. To find the ones that are worth fighting for. To forget the ones that don't belong in your heart. To give yourself some time. To talk with body-language to locals. To find out their amazing and incredible souls. To find out that there are kind ones out there. We just need to learn to see them. 

Lean to stay human. 

Lear to love human.

Friendlust

Cheers for the people who wake you up and drag you out to live more.
And then let you sleep when you're having a hangover.
Cheers for the people around you.
Cheers mates!

Do you ever get friendlust? Like. You just see someone and you're like: "Man, I have such a friend-cruch on you. I wanna be your friend so bad. I wanna be more than a friend. I wanna be the BEST friend. Do you hear me? You're so cool. I admire you a lot and you're so funny. Please, be my friend. I will treat you right. Let me be your drake-friend. No other friend will treat you like I would."

Season of realisation

If you never see, you'll never know. 

A Sunday walk with a good friend will make you realise what needs to be held close. The city lights, frozen lips, eyes full of christmas sparkle and heart full of warmness is the most perfect symptoms for winter. A Sunday talk with a good friend will take you to topics you'll never regret telling. People are wandering around. Finally are not ashamed of their emotions. Towards the city, the coldness, the love.
A Sunday walk will clear your head and leave the good things inside. You'll realise the small things. The big things. The things that you think that doesn't matter. The things that you have been missing.
A Sunday walk will make you realise.
About how beautiful Sundays are.
How beautiful life is.

Come and give me your hand

I'll take you far away. 

I never knew I could fall in love like this. 

It's all about the process of growing. As a person. As a human being. It is all about being honest. About what you want. What you feel. What you need. And who you are. 

Real travel is not about the highlights with which you dazzle your friends once you’re home. It’s about the loneliness, the solitude, the evenings spent by yourself. Those are the moments of true value. You feel half proud of them and half ashamed and you hold them close to your heart. You are with yourself. Streets full of people rushing, driving and hurrying. Yet you still are by yourself. And that is a good thing. You'll discover new sides about yourself. You'll learn to be alone and enjoy it. You'll learn how to meditate inside your heart, with eyes open and legs still taking you somewhere. You'll learn how to find laughter on streets full of messy traffic. You can only control yourself. You'll learn to trust life. 

And see where it takes you.