Your dreams are incredibly loud

*push play* 

I don't take my luck for granted. I don't know if I move them or not. I don't have the power of changing them or even making them think. All I can do is let the magic happen by doing what I feel is important, by listening and by being gentle with their souls.
I need to move myself first in the need of moving them. And when it comes to dancing...

Then of course I do it for me. To get out the shiver, to share the emotion and maybe a piece of my present.
But mainly for you. To maybe make you understand a bit that you are not on your own with the hesitations, insecurities and love. That I will try to lift you up by showing how to fly or I'll try to lift you up by going on the ground and taking the steps with you.
I move for everybody. Everybody who can see the other side of the picture.

Darling, it's about the decision. We always share our best bits online... but we never share the emotion. Have no worries, being heart broken, sad, disappointed and out of sync is totally OK, as far as you are willing to search the resolution and heal.

I know I have lost some great battles but I also know that now the progress begins. The last dots will be connected soon and I will be one. Whole. Complete.
Not to spoil the ending for you... but everything is going to be alright.

Ohutu filter

Miks ei tee ma seda, mida tunnen, et peaksin tegema? Mitte isegi seda, mida tahaksin teha - vaid just nimelt seda, mida peaksin tegema, milleks olen tulnud ja mida loodud tegema.

Nii väga kui üks inimlik hing ka ei sooviks eksida või kardaks eksida - nii samuti on muidugi ka minuga. Võib-olla ei ole asi kartuses. Lugu on haiget saamises ning see kõlab justkui nii nagu oleksin elus läbi elanud palju ebaõnnestumisi - ei. Aga ma olen viimaste aegade seikade tõttu loonud endale võõra filtri, kes lepib paratamatusega ega julge end raputada lahti rutiinist.
Muidugi on teatud filtrite omamine kasulik - kohtudes uute inimestega, olles võõras situatsioonis või seistes silmitsi uue informatsiooniga. Kuid minu enda ja maailma vahel ei tohiks olla filtrit. See õudne plastik on mind ära lõiganud mu loomupärastest tegevustest, soovidest ja kreatiivsusest.
Ma ei karda eksida, kuna seda tuleb igapäevaselt ette. Küll aga kardan endale haiget teha ning teada saada: "Äkki ma ei tunnegi tegelikult oma loomust? Võib-olla olen temast valesti aru saanud?"
See on hirm ja kartus emotsioonide ning iseenda ees. Mugavdada ennast olukordadega, sest nii on kohane ja kindel. Ohutu... Ohutu on täpne sõna.
Mul on filtri taga väga ohutu viibida. Teades, et siin on mugav, siin on kindlam ja ambitsioonitum. Ühel hetkel avastasin, et ma ei peida tervet end filtri taha. Minu loomus ja kreatiivsus on jäänud teisele poole filtrit. Ma olen pooleks. Mu hing vaatab läbi filtri eksinud soove... Ma vaatan läbi aiaprao ning ei lähe endale appi.
Ma võiksin olukorraga lihtsalt leppida ning saada aru, et võib-olla selline ongi elu... ning samal ajal endale päevade lõpuni sisestada: "Mis siis kui...?" Mis siis kui ma oleksin endale appi läinud; mis siis kui ma oleksin proovinud; mis siis kui ma oleksin jätnud oma mugavustsooni; mis siis kui ma oleksin koputanud.
Mis siis kui...?

Ma võtsin vastu otsuse, kuidas filtri kaotamiseks ma pean tegema ära KÕIK need asjad, mis tekitavad minu sees "Mis siis kui..." efekti.
Noh... ja kui ebaõnnestun - vähemalt siis, ei mõtle ma ealeski enam proovimata ja tegemata jäänud asjadele.
Ja mis siis kui... ma olen enesekindel, et õnnestun?

Tsiteeriks oma ema: "Ole oma soovidega ettevaatlik, need kipuvad täide minema."
Sobib.

Lose every sense of time

If you are going to be tired... be tired like a sloth and relocate yourself to somewhere good. 

I get too excited of living and too scared of the fact that life is passing me by...
And now I'm here. Tired of trying to see, do and be everything. Tired of holding my eyes open and making sure I'm not missing anything inspirational. Tired of sleepless nights when my brain is working in full speed and dreams feel more real than reality. Tired of hoping to make everything work when sometimes things just need to brake down.
So now it's time to rest. Reset. Restart. Take a breath or two and just zone out. Push the snooze button. Have everything in slow motion and put everybody "on silent."
Time to talk less. Listen to more music. And quietness of my thoughts. And dreams.

Inimene on protsess. Ning see teeb inimeseks olemise väga võluvaks. See, et sa pidevalt muutud. 

Throwback Tuesday

It's a good life. To start a day with your best friend. To take a long walk in the cold and fresh "almost-springish" weather. To laugh out loud. To receive a postcard from Costa Rica. To wander away in your mind. To hug people you care about. To do good for a good friend. To care. To have meaningful conversations. To help someone out. To find yourself in a sticky situation and work it out. To listen Ed Sheean live, giggle with your best friend and get lost in his ability to rap. 

It's a good life. 

“I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… now I look around and wonder if I like them.”

And of course. I have one more CHECK on my Bucket List. Mister Ed Sheeran, the new rap superstar, stole my heart a long time ago. The concert just made me realise that he's not giving it back any time soon. To stand there. Smile. Look at his meditational face. To dance with eyes closed. Listen to his music. Lyrics. Beats. It's breathtaking. And I don't want to lose that feeling. Ever. The way I felt there. Invisible.

Note to self: fight with the dark days

Darling, get out of bed in the morning and decide that you want to do something you haven't done... or something you haven't had time to do. 

Go and shoot a gun. Laugh all day over stupid jokes. Have fun with the secrets you own. Meet an old friend. Have coffee over-load. Have a school lesson and listen every little world the teacher tells you. Tell someone the truth. Open yourself to your co-workers. Love the people around you. Make a bucket list and start doing it. 

Go to sleep with a smile on your face.

Wake up with an open heart. 

"Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Year's Eve if that's what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story." 

- Susan Cain

Flying over hometown

Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life.. 

(I sometimes panic when I remember the fact that there's so much to do and so little time. But then I luckily realise that every things comes in its own time.)

Don't date a girl who travels

Traveling is like flirting with life. It's like saying, I would stay and love you, but I have to go...

All the trekkers you meet are your friends. They greet you like friends, they are interested in you like friends and they give you the sincerest smile when you pass them. The amount of friends you get - not knowing their name and nationality - is outrageous. If you are willing to open up yourself and give away good vibes, you will get even better vibes back. Somehow you will remember their faces, maybe not all - but you have seen them all. You will remember the feeling they gave you. You will remember the feelings you felt during an upsurge, rainy weather, never-ending fight with leeches or sometimes even on a sunny afternoon. Thoughts about life, home, nature and relationships are constantly on your head while you walk. But you don't over-think. Everything that comes in to your mind will get clear. Every little worry will disappear. 

Trekkers are allowed to think their own thoughts. Nobody is judging them there. They have time. The absence of time and obligations are making them blissful. They could solve their biggest problems up there... or they could just enjoy the moment and let everything go. They can't be found and their thoughts can't be affected. 

Trekkers are your friends. Even if you don't know them and they don't want to be... they still are. They are going through the same things as you are. Humans are humans. You will realise that no matter what, we pretty much are the same. Not in a bad way. In a good way. In an extremely beautiful way. 

not waiting

finally acting. 

I believe that we have to have back-up plans. It's not because the lack of hope in the first place. It's simply a part of being active. 

I don't just wanna knock on doors and wait. I want to knock and kick down many doors and see, which one wants me. 

Vice versa. 

The difference can be seen only a little bit in these photos. But it's just what I wanted!

Kiss of the 2014

The amazing moment of reunion. Reunion with the wonderful other half's of me. Reunion with myself.

Finally I can feel that I am back. Physically I have been everywhere and lived two lives. Thankfully the winter winds have pushed me in to the right position again. Maybe not physically, but definitely mentally. I'm ready to travel. Ready to make mistakes and enjoy them. 

The glass is definitely half full. Full of anticipation. 

New Year's Eve in Tallinn with the greatest company I could ever ask. 

Harry Potter

Watch all Harry Potter movies - CHECK! 

Thanks to the wonderful people in Ollerup, I now have finally seen all the movies of Harry Potter. And what can I say. One more thing on my bucket list is crossed out and I had an amazing movie nights with good company and good movies.

Study abroad - CHECK!

The Academy of Physical Education in Ollerup, Denmark. 

Dance line. 

Toakaaslasega ja tema imelise punase rattaga. 

Mul on vedanud. 

Mõlemaga.

Südames on küll rahu. Kõik, mis ma ootanud olen need aastad, on lõpuks siin. Või õigemini olen mina lõpuks siin. Olen tasakaalus. Ja sihikindel. 

Denmark 2013

Let the adventure begin. For the both of us. Together. Going strong.

“But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. And that’s life, isn’t it?”

Appreciation

Visit Oleviste church - CHECK! 

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.

“Too many people get caught up in what could be instead of appreciating what is. Don’t fall into that trap. Appreciate what you have and who you have, because the future can take it all away from you anytime.”

Have a beach bonfire - check

Because when you stop and look around, this life is pretty amazing. 

See Imagine Dragons - check

If you love somebody

better tell them while they're here 'cause

they just may run away from you...

Travel the world before I'm old

So I took a little notebook with blank pages to fill it out with things I wanna do before I die. Long list. But definitely worth it. And I'm sure that if I will find more interesting "things", I will add them all. 

I promise that I will do my best to strike out almost every item on that list.  

MALTA 2013

'

One relaxing, fun and happy trip to beautiful Malta.

Check it out, leave a comment and hit thumbs up, if you like it. 

Enjoy our journey!

“Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.”

Skinny dipping - check!

I can cross out one more thing on my bucket list.
Had so much fun. Best company, bike trip, night, warm weather and water. Collected together some good memories.





“Sweet memories will never be forgotten, they will dance for eternity through your mind, tickling you with the fond light of that perfect moment.
They will never fall asleep.”

Graduation - check

If you love somebody
better tell them while they’re here ’cause
they just may run away from you...

Visit Malta - check!

 

 

 First day we discovered the neighborhood. We took a long walk by the sea in Sliema, grabbed something to eat, looked for stores and enjoyed the sun. It's so wonderful to be here and we can't wait to explore some more.