Kindness matters

I'm not the one who should judge people, places, feelings or situations.
It doesn't mean I'm not having an opinion.
It means the acceptance of human differences.

It's all fun and games until you take the jokes in and start to believe them. Start to put labels on people you were just few seconds ago admiring; start to put negative thoughts in to your head about people who you don't even know.

I know the ones who admit they are getting energy from stealing others, being fake depressed and whining. And I also know the ones who are not admitting it - but clearly they feel it too. Specially if the third thing they say when you meet is something about bad situation but he or she is being the bigger person.
Letting go is a good thing, honey.
I'm not the expert of it. But I always give it a try.

Take few seconds of the day to look around. 

Glance into yourself.

And to the streets of wonder. With amazing vibes. 

Find your wild

When you have mastered the art of loving yourself and putting yourself first... you realise now you need to start doing things for yourself.

You wake up for yourself. You eat the breakfast you love. You go to school if you are interested in it. You go to work if you need to pay your bills. Hopefully you do something you like to do. Or you learn how to love it. You interact with the ones who bring out the best in you. Or who you can laugh the most, share the most or travel the most. You read the books you love. Or magazines - and no-one is there to judge you. You listen that "shitty" band that your course mates hate because you love them.  You take yourself out to dinner, to movies, to the zoo and to the freaking party because you want to. You start collecting stamps or maps because why not. You save your money instead of floating on your parents wallets because you feel like it. You ask for help if you want to. You share travels with your parents because you love them. You cook the stuff you love. And you share it because love should be shared.

But most of all... Start doing things you were too scared to do because you were not sure of your knowledge, power or abilities. Start photographing, developing business ideas, saving money, writing, singing, painting, being alone, being in love, being out of love, breaking a habit, taking on a new habit, decorating your room, taking swimming lessons. What ever you want to do you better start doing it. I have postponed two of my dreams for a year now. And what I gained from it - yes, some other good memories... but also regrets. Loads of regrets.
And those two little things could have been squeezed in my daily routine. But I just had no courage. And will power. And not in enough wildness in my soul.

The one who got away

Oh well the tables have turned.

I'm the one who got away.
Let me give you a little modest speech.
Life happens when you are making plans. Life happens when you are getting ready to be fearless enough to go to the starting line. Life happens when you are daydreaming about the person you like and not acting towards it. Life happens while you are feeling you are not ready to take a chance. Life happens when you are sitting home and thinking about whats good and bad.

Life happened while you were too uptight to think I'm waiting too.
It happened while you were trying to make up your mind but you were still not fearless enough to finish your sentences and thoughts.
It happened while you were too busy waiting it to happen.

You could collaborate with life if you take the 3 seconds of courage and let go of what you should do and actually do what you want to do.

sakura matata, spring 2015

Home is wherever I'm with...

Home is wherever I can be with myself.

The feeling of home shows its-self in a different forms and shapes.
It calms my shaking hands and overly spontaneous mind. It takes away my thoughts of being lost. It washes away the dirt on my feet when I've been out for too long. It nurses me with comfort but at the same time with strong wanderlust. It keeps away the wrong ones and opens doors for the right ones. It balances my in- and outside like white Tara.
Home can be a place or a feeling or a person or the song you really love. It can be the book you often read but never finish. It can be the laughter and the tears of joy when you are with the ones you love. The hugs from the little ones. Home can be the conversations about future that doesn't exist or the talks about your favourite foods, movies and nonsense. It's the quietness that feels so good and so relaxing. The quietness that makes you feel like every little thing is going to be just fine.
Home gives you the feeling that there's more to love than just what you see. It makes you realise that there's more to life. More to life than standards, systems and "the right moves." Makes you feel that what you know is enough. More than enough. There's more to life than your grades wether they are A's or B's or C's or you need to pass the exams again. There's more to life than statuses that things put on you, than broken promises or faded relationships. There's always more.
The feeling of home shows that not just there's more to life. But also... there's more to love.
Home loves you. And makes you love yourself.

It's your choice

Take a second to realise that there's more to life than standards, "things you suppose to do", "the right moves" and systems. 

My best friend tends to always say: "Hey, it's your choice." Or if communication with someone or a situation goes wrong: "Hey, it's their/her/his choice."
And at first I laughed. About the way she always said it. She made it feel so effortless. She made it seem so simple and at the same time so right.
And then I serious'd. Because I realised that she had been right all along. Not that I ever feel to doubt her.
I guess it really is so simple. So darn simple and clear. There's nothing you can do about some situations if it's not your decision. But at the same time you can always choose if the decision is your call to make.

Hey, it's your choice.
You can throw away this knowledge and keep up the old way.
Or actually realise that everything is a choice.
You just need to make up your mind.
Pick the things you want.
Or the people you want in life. Or in love.
Your choice and attraction.

Kevad jõudis linna

Ma ootan puhastustuld,
et see põletaks vihma.
Nii suurt ja nii tugevat,
et see põletaks vihma.
Kannatamtult
kannatlik.
Segaduses
selge.

Ma ootasin puhastuld,

kuid sain valguse.

Ja see valgus peatas kõik,

seisatas ja vaatas.

Nii vaikselt

vali. 

Kaootiliselt

kaunis. 

21

Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated. 

I bet we all have some illusion of ourselves in our heads. What we think we are, what we wish to be and how we wish to live. We are working towards of being ourselves but not recognising that while we're working - we're actually becoming ourselves. We already do the things we want, say what we want and think what seems right to us. Or if you don't, then start doing it. But still we think we need to construct ourselves, search, seek and build our minds. When in fact we are already there. 

The illusion of how we should be is blinding us from how we are. 

All the searching needs to be stopped for a while and we need to see that maybe we already reached our destination. Be glad if you already arrived. And find new challenges after that. 

What I discovered during my birthday weekend... I am at that point in my life where people are seeing me as I am. Honestly, fully, individually. And it is worth celebrating. 

Accept yourself first. Then others will just have to follow.