127 ways to support you

Stop being so desperate 

to be in love 

I will hold you

when you get lonely 

I will listen

and talk 

and be 

when you feel like you alone is not enough

It will come

in the most mysterious way

let the thought go

just live 

127 days to let go

This quarantine 

is brining out some

deep rooted 

repressed feelings

or questions

or emotions 

and it’s perfect. 

It really is. 

Because I feel like I’m finally

truly releasing some 

old habits

and doubts 

and pain. 

And it’s perfect. 

1:27pm is for my coffee and me

Please darling

do yourself a favor 

and enjoy the view –

oh, the things you can see

and admire

Stop looking for ways 

how you could fall down

how you could break 

Spring 1.27

I am releasing 

some beautiful thoughts 

and beautiful pain

from my head

and from my body

and from my soul 

Spring cleaning is here 

and I’m fully 

taking part of it 

127m of distancing

No, 

listening to bossa nova 

sunbathing on my old bed 

social distancing 

and thinking of you

doesn't make sense. 

But it's happening

and 

I need to get used to this. 

Plus

I'm totally fine like this. 

Why I need time

The things is
I am afraid of losing.
Not losing you
but losing me.

That's why I need time.

To make sure
I'm strong enough
to share myself.

Sustainability in my hands

You will find sustainability in me
and what that means is
I will never
leave you alone with this
in life
in the mornings
in the golden hours
in art
in messages
in cold.

My hands will sustainably hold yours.

We love in different ways

We have accepted the fact
that everybody grows
in different paces.

It's time to accept the fact
that we show love
in different ways.

I make a fool out of myself.
You remember everything.
I am soft but stubborn.
You give your all to the things you like.
I fight loudly.
You fight slowly.

#writewithrupi snippets

A list of things in my mind in the middle of the night

I still don't know how to draw
Her movement
I sleep too little
Quarantine
Would like to have a long walk again
Telenovelas
Time with him
Who should I video-call next?
My lips hurt
Touching you

#writewithrupi snippets

Dear _______
I have been dying to tell you
I can't wait to hold you.
I can't. I can't. I can't.

Your eyes comfort me.
But I can't look for long.
Because I know that the sandstorm in them
will take over me.
You will take over me.

And my eyes…
my eyes can't hold secrets.
So I can't look. And you can't watch.

Your touch shouldn't feel like this.
Like the air in the room
gets thicket.
Like cotton fields whisking with the wind.
I rise with the touch.
I blossom.

I'm falling. I might be falling? Shit.
I want in. And out. In or out?
I need to get out?

But I never send this.

We will soon meet (again)

This morning was the first morning
in a long time
when I woke up
with the sun.

The whole world was asleep
well
if not the whole world then at least
my street.

I woke up thinking why things had to turn out the way
they did.
I muted my stubbornness and tried to accept that
everything is not in my control.

Change of plans at 1:27pm

The moment everything crashes
is the moment I realise
it must happen now –
so something greater would come out of it.

The moment everything crashes
I can't find myself to be
the bigger person
who would understand
who would be calm
who would be quiet.

The moment I realised
that a lot of plans
and dreams
and wishes
are on a pause…

was the moment I took a deep breath in
and
kept on living.

They will come again
soon.

1.27 days in quarantine

I would love to wake up
next to you
for once

to see you first thing
in the morning
for once

whenever
wherever
for once

breathe in the winter morning
that wishes to become spring
together
for once

experience what it feels.

But I also would love to
keep this between me and
me.

I only have 127h more

I fell for the idea of you
and once I said it out loud
I understood that some ideas
need patience and time

which I guess I don't have.

Wearing the laughter at 1:27pm

I have been wearing
the laughter you created
with me for few days

for once and for a surprise
I don't want it to end

I want to feel the laugher burn
my stomach
my face
my heart