Saturday, December 27, 2014

Christmas feelings

A year can change a lot. And nothing much. 
This time of the year is finally here again. I always start waiting the next one when the last one finishes. I start preparing for the new one way too early. I start smelling and feeling and singing out the happiness a month or two before. It's one hell of a good time of the year. Tears, wine, laughter, love and cold weather has a power of making the most exciting mixed drink of all. There's no Christmas without sadness. Or without laughter that even hurts your bones. There's no Christmas without family coming together, celebrating, arguing and making up the same time. Or friends coming together with alcohol to share and memories to make. There's no Christmas without realising how blessed and happy you are. No Christmas without winter. No Christmas without long-time-no-see friends. No Christmas without exciting news and endless movies. 

Christmas is always good. If you make it a good one. 
It's the same with life.
Trust me. 

I have an incredible skill to turn the bad into good. And make strangers think I'm doing amazingly. And make myself think I'm doing fantastic. 
And despite the fact that I think I'm doing good... I actually am. 
More than good.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Do you ever take a chance, my dear?

Because you know I will... 

If I could I would spend the rest of my life as happy as I was the last weekend. Including Friday. Including today. Including the few sleeping hours, laughter in my veins, sweet talks and dancing. Even including the food, phone calls, old friends, new friends, Christmas and thinking hours. 
I've been wanting to cry for a week. For a reason. For a justified reason. But to quote Hamlet act III, scene III, line 92 "No." I couldn't. I guess the breathing ones were the reason. I got infected with joy and gratitude. 
I got bitten by a life bug. 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Gather up your tears

keep them in your pocket. 
Save them for a time when you really gonna need them. 

Täna võib. 

I think about dying but I dont want to die. Not even close. In fact my problem is the complete opposite. I want to live, I want to escape. I feel trapped and bored and claustrophobic. There’s so much to see and so much to do but I somehow still find myself doing nothing at all. I’m still here in this metaphorical bubble of existence and I can’t quite figure out what the hell I’m doing or how to get out of it.” — Matty Healy.

rip, my love

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Stay human

I learned to love those small things that we often forget.
I learned to love them in a new condition.


To have a morning coffee with mountain breeze while it messes up your ponytail. To be with your own thoughts, own your time and own your breaths. To look up to the sky and truly see the sky. To have time to collect your emotions and lose the ones you don't need. To become a part of the rain, the sun and feel the ground under you. To walk aimlessly but still stay determined. To know that life has its ups and down just like the landscape around you. To find the ones that are worth fighting for. To forget the ones that don't belong in your heart. To give yourself some time. To talk with body-language to locals. To find out their amazing and incredible souls. To find out that there are kind ones out there. We just need to learn to see them. 
Lean to stay human. 
Lear to love human.

Sunday, December 7, 2014


Cheers for the people who wake you up and drag you out to live more.
And then let you sleep when you're having a hangover.
Cheers for the people around you.
Cheers mates!

Do you ever get friendlust? Like. You just see someone and you're like: "Man, I have such a friend-cruch on you. I wanna be your friend so bad. I wanna be more than a friend. I wanna be the BEST friend. Do you hear me? You're so cool. I admire you a lot and you're so funny. Please, be my friend. I will treat you right. Let me be your drake-friend. No other friend will treat you like I would."

Monday, December 1, 2014

Season of realisation

If you never see, you'll never know. 

A Sunday walk with a good friend will make you realise what needs to be held close. The city lights, frozen lips, eyes full of christmas sparkle and heart full of warmness is the most perfect symptoms for winter. A Sunday talk with a good friend will take you to topics you'll never regret telling. People are wandering around. Finally are not ashamed of their emotions. Towards the city, the coldness, the love.
A Sunday walk will clear your head and leave the good things inside. You'll realise the small things. The big things. The things that you think that doesn't matter. The things that you have been missing.
A Sunday walk will make you realise.
About how beautiful Sundays are.
How beautiful life is.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Come and give me your hand

I'll take you far away. 

I never knew I could fall in love like this. 

It's all about the process of growing. As a person. As a human being. It is all about being honest. About what you want. What you feel. What you need. And who you are. 

Real travel is not about the highlights with which you dazzle your friends once you’re home. It’s about the loneliness, the solitude, the evenings spent by yourself. Those are the moments of true value. You feel half proud of them and half ashamed and you hold them close to your heart. You are with yourself. Streets full of people rushing, driving and hurrying. Yet you still are by yourself. And that is a good thing. You'll discover new sides about yourself. You'll learn to be alone and enjoy it. You'll learn how to meditate inside your heart, with eyes open and legs still taking you somewhere. You'll learn how to find laughter on streets full of messy traffic. You can only control yourself. You'll learn to trust life. 

And see where it takes you. 

Sunday, November 23, 2014


"Kõik, mis sa teed, teed kõik endale." 

Take a day to be completely useless. Take this day and lay on the sofa, drink litres of tea and be real. Find your true feelings. Think what's going to happen next. Eat your favourite dishes, watch your favourite films and reload. Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it. Those are the perks of being a true human being. 
And don't be scared to wake up next day... and leave the sofa. 

Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don’t be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are.
— Kristin Armstrong

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Note to self: fight with the dark days

Darling, get out of bed in the morning and decide that you want to do something you haven't done... or something you haven't had time to do. 
Go and shoot a gun. Laugh all day over stupid jokes. Have fun with the secrets you own. Meet an old friend. Have coffee over-load. Have a school lesson and listen every little world the teacher tells you. Tell someone the truth. Open yourself to your co-workers. Love the people around you. Make a bucket list and start doing it. 
Go to sleep with a smile on your face.
Wake up with an open heart. 

"Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to. Stay home on New Year's Eve if that's what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story." 
- Susan Cain

Friday, November 14, 2014

...With every broken bone

I swear I lived. 

The way they handle live performances. They way they create the energy. The way they deliver the simplest sentences. The way they make each and everyone feel immortal. They way they make me feel fearless again and again. The way they create memories. And they way they keep memories.
I like their ways.
Their ways make me feel them. And my strengths.

And I don't even start talking about their musical abilities, talent and songwriting skills.
Thank you for 'nice' Thursday evening.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween

Go more green.

I wake up. Roll in bed. Put a really good song on. Open the curtains. Roll some more. And start rolling out of bed.

It all comes inside. When your body is aching then it's telling you something. Keep good karma and energy around.

Remember: If you are the smartest person in the room... then you are in the wrong room.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Autumn blues

"You can't go listening every fucking little voice that runs through your head... you'll go nuts."
- Samantha Jones

The autumn magic is pretty much over and the wait for winter is on. Wish I could wrap myself in a blanket and throw the responsibilities away. Autumn blues are here. I'm dying to make them stop. 
I need to wake up. 

Don't compare. 
Just enjoy. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

I may laugh too much

But I work hard and treat myself nicely. 

Also the Vince Wolf Project is now out there. So much to come, so much to do. But everything looks amazing.
The paintings will be out soon, the products will be on you way and every little piece is under a construction.
You can visit the official Facebook site here. 
Official instagram page here.
Give this amazing girl a look. She will be legend.

Excited to work with people so dedicated of what they do.
So aware of their knowledge. 
So aware of their targets. 
So aware of life. 

Monday, October 20, 2014

Mr. Allen

Magic in the Moonlight

My body acclimates itself when I send out a signal that I'm going to watch a movie made by Mr Woody Allen. 
My body turns numb, in a weird, peaceful way. I always hope for the best. That he doesn't prove me wrong. That everything I deep down wish for... he shows me. 90% of the time I get even more than I wished for. 
The witty, intelligent dialogues are taking me on a trip to sadly comfortable and home-like place. The quick come-backs, realistic yet romantic vibes are my favourite ones. How the light falls on their faces and how they seem to not notice that. The soundtrack usually consists of songs that I would like to have as my background music... as I wander around on the strange, new, yet cosy towns. Magic in the Moonlight has colours that make it even more magical. 

The choice of actors and actresses impress me. Have to admit, I am a big fan of Emma Stone. And Colin Firth is on the top of my list as well. So as I saw it - a great (yet strange, if you focus on the generation gap) combo, odd chemistry, somehow suitable appearance, simple and magical character building. 

The playfulness the movie brings to my heart... is worth keeping. 

I know a lot of people who might not agree with me. They seriously don't like Woody's work. 
And that's alright. In a strange way it makes me like it even more. Just to show them... that it can be loved. It can be good. And it is good. 

Simple. Effective. 

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Autumn under my skin

Finally I had a long weekend of rest and peace. I started my Friday off with loads of studying and cleaning. Then we took 3 hour long ride to out country house. We cooked some good dinner, I did a bit of reading and then we just casually chilled out in our warm living room. 
Saturday went by fast... and we did a lot! Started our morning with working outside. It took a couple of hours to clean up the garden, pick apples and enjoy the chilly autumn sunshine. After that we had a super quick lunch and headed off to the pool. Did an awesome and exhausting workout in the pool (the swimmer I sill am inside), sat on the sauna and after headed off to mall. We were dead. We did a bit of shopping and sat down in a cafe to have a latte and find some energy. 

Here comes my favourite part. That I will talk later. Yes, it's about the master, Woody Allen. 

The quietness that Tartu has is refreshing. Best place to be, when I need to collect myself together again. 
Evening turned out to be next to my computer, going over Nepal video footage. I do feel like I want to cry. Firstly I wanna go back. Right now. Secondly... the amount of footage I have is too damn high! 

Sunday owns the grown of weekend. Chilling around, reading, watching series, going for a run, studying a bit... The perfect end for the week... and the perfect reload to start a new week tomorrow. 

Note to self: Be selective in your battles. Sometimes peace is better than being right. 

Friday, October 17, 2014

Take me on a trip

I'd like to go somewhere. 

In my point of view it's not a bad thing to be restless. It shows a need to grow as a person, be true to your mind and soul, develop and catch changes. Couldn't imagine living the same year 80 times. Life gives everyone, independently, an opportunities to live differently almost every single day. Nobody tells you that you have to work on the same job until you retire. Nobody tells you what you have to like and dislike; how you should look, feel or think. You have the real chance of living more than 80 different lives.
Your choice. If you feel good about living the one life, do it. If not... Then take my blessing and go be someone else. Every step is the right step. Simply take the step. Take it.
And let me know what happens.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Popcorn night

"Become friends with people who aren't your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn't the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn't come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow." 

Have movie nights with good people. Have a laugh. Or a cry. 
Have good people around you. Simple. Good. 

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Rest and find your will

So as I wrote earlier... It's the season of coming back...
I came back and sat down with myself. Took a good cup of coffee, did people watching and controlled my breathing. Made a list in my head of the things I want to try out, I want to do and started thinking about how I would make them real.
It all came clear. I need time to rest, to be my own boss and to find the balance between what others see and how I see myself.

Decided to took a Saturday off, wandered around beautiful Kadriorg, went to KUMU and Kadrioru kunstimuuseum, did loads of (also window)shopping and had a laugh in the cosy autumn.
If you have time, please visit KUMU. The exhibition A Moveable Feast is just breathtaking.
And even if you don't, then still please find time to yourself. Time to be present.