Screaming "22"

"For all those years you have protected the seed... It's time to become the beautiful flower."

Week full of surprises, unknown connections, quiet thoughts and getting older. No wonder it has been a hectic ride - all this craziness turned my temperature up and mood somewhere in the middle. An awkward year of being 21 is now "so last year" and I'm here, ready to continue the #selflove2016.

After this magical yet "what the heck is going on" week my mind is blank. No, not the "I'm not feeling anything anymore"-blank. But it feels like a conscious balance - everything that life chooses to challenge me with is done or going to be done and I'm not nervous at all. Alright, maybe just a little, but it's the excited-nervousness... Accepting what is done and knowing that whatever comes is just a darling, little, adventure.
(At least I'm really hoping it is.)

The wish for 22 is to laugh with the adventure but take the passion with for a ride.
I do not know where I am after 4 months... but it feels like I'm walking home. Either way, it's going to be a home for me. Either way the option is beyond amazing.

My favourite food is breakfast #selflove2016

Happy February!
Don't take yourself too seriously, but take seriously enough to care. Fill yourself with wonders and love. Only you can choose the magic which will complement your soul. 

1. Bottom mixture - orange & banana
    Oats
    Cinnamon
    Dates
    Kiwi (1 half)

2. Bottom mixture  - orange, small banana, berry mix
    Oats
    Cinnamon
    Kiwi (1 half)

3. Bottom mixture - 0,4 melon & banana

    Oats 

    Cinnamon

    Dates

    Cashews

4. Smoothie - melon, banana, 1/3 cup oats, 2 dates 

    Avocado bread with Mediterranean herbs 

5. Bottom mixture - 2 bananas, berry mix, soy milk, peanuts

    Oats

    Cinnamon

    

6. Banana pancakes (with barley)

    Honey (natural)

    Fresh plum puree with cinnamon 

7. Bottom mixture - banana, orange

    Oats

    Cinnamon

    Yellow plums

    Walnuts 

Make yourself art. Make every morning a piece of art and you never feel out of place. Or space. Or out of living. 

Take the magical first step

I got so caught up... about wanting everything and wanting it "now."
Wanting to visit every country on my bucket list; taking up every hobby which sounds amazing; making everything, if not perfect, then good enough; wishing to get the approval now; needing my own approval now; wanting the other half and the same time hoping to be alone. Wanting everything quickly or not at all. I don't mean "wanting it easy" but wanting it fast and good enough so it could count. 
And then I got lost.
I got lost and found myself in a rush of living but not actually focusing and doing. Not actually being present with my physical, soul and mind.

So now I have decided to take a step back, look at myself and not realise where I took the wrong step... but what would be the next step on the right path. Can't undo what's done and I'm not getting any younger - so better now than when I'm 60 and think "I could have had the time..."

Taking one country, goal, breath and step at a time. One thing every day that makes me closer to my selected wishes. I know I could do everything, at the same time and make everything mediocrely good... But it tears me apart. Makes me feel like I'm doing everything half-assed.
So on thing at a time.

Let's start. Using the magic.

21

Life should not only be lived, it should be celebrated. 

I bet we all have some illusion of ourselves in our heads. What we think we are, what we wish to be and how we wish to live. We are working towards of being ourselves but not recognising that while we're working - we're actually becoming ourselves. We already do the things we want, say what we want and think what seems right to us. Or if you don't, then start doing it. But still we think we need to construct ourselves, search, seek and build our minds. When in fact we are already there. 

The illusion of how we should be is blinding us from how we are. 

All the searching needs to be stopped for a while and we need to see that maybe we already reached our destination. Be glad if you already arrived. And find new challenges after that. 

What I discovered during my birthday weekend... I am at that point in my life where people are seeing me as I am. Honestly, fully, individually. And it is worth celebrating. 

Accept yourself first. Then others will just have to follow. 

Happy Halloween

Go more green.

I wake up. Roll in bed. Put a really good song on. Open the curtains. Roll some more. And start rolling out of bed.

It all comes inside. When your body is aching then it's telling you something. Keep good karma and energy around.

Remember: If you are the smartest person in the room... then you are in the wrong room.

Rest and find your will

So as I wrote earlier... It's the season of coming back...
I came back and sat down with myself. Took a good cup of coffee, did people watching and controlled my breathing. Made a list in my head of the things I want to try out, I want to do and started thinking about how I would make them real.
It all came clear. I need time to rest, to be my own boss and to find the balance between what others see and how I see myself.

Decided to took a Saturday off, wandered around beautiful Kadriorg, went to KUMU and Kadrioru kunstimuuseum, did loads of (also window)shopping and had a laugh in the cosy autumn.
If you have time, please visit KUMU. The exhibition A Moveable Feast is just breathtaking.
And even if you don't, then still please find time to yourself. Time to be present.

Breakfast Club vol1

Cafe och Bar Popular / Boheem kichen

Review

Friday morning and breakfast catch-up-date.
The good coffee latte made me drink it twice. Being a coffee expert in my mind, I always search for a great cup of coffee. Often it depends on who serves it... but most of the times what matters is just the quality. Thanks to Popular's coffee - my morning took a good start.
We both took an oatmeal porridge. Perfect amount. Not too small and definitely not too big. Porridge with honey was a great kick-off. Simple and effective breakfast combo.
Sitting outside on a crispy morning, having Tallinn's old town architecture around us, followed by sweet and friendly service - this sums up our perfect get-together date.

Breakfast president. 

"See you soon"

The school adventure starts again. Luckily I am feeling excited and ready to take everything in. To start improving more, learning more, reading more and living more. A lot of questions have been answered and because of that I'm finally confident about my plans and actions for the next semester. 

It has been a wonderful ride so far - now I just have to get out of the 'sleep-mode' and show some action. 

Action of mentally travelling. 

Gingerbread house, ice-skating and amazing last dinner in Sfäär. 

it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Nights are meant for dreaming. Making plans. Maybe doing some of them. Setting goals. 

Days are meant to wander around. Make plans true. And a little bit more. Achieve goals. See everything that night darkness was hiding. And make plans. Make plans for nights. 

Life is meant for living. 

dreaming. 

wandering. 

doing. 

searching. 

and.

loving. 

Christmas night with my "sister from another mister," gift exchange and making gingerbreads. 

Lots of sushi and wine and laughter. Perfect christmas night! 

 "La Traviata" in Estonia National Opera house, Vapiano time with Dan, two days of football games and Christmas night with Dan - peanut butter truffles!

Gala 2013

One more reminder of how I am blessed to be surrounded by so many beautiful people. 

Here for a semester or two.

Friends for life. 

Getting ready for Gala with my roommate. 

Gala partner and a great evening.

Sisters from Denmark and Estonia. 

Life will throw lessons at us

If you have to fight… punch first and punch hard.

One more lesson about growing up and taking responsibility for your actions have been taught. Wiser than before. Stronger than before. Closer to the truth than before. 

Every situation in life will give you something to think about. We just have to make sure that in the end we will stay in stable ground and learn from the bad things.

Special little friends from Estonia. Yum!

Realisation

The magical moment when you understand that everything in this life is good. 

Where are you standing. Who are you surrounded with. How's the weather. Who loves you. Who you love. What you can do and what you want to do. Your bedsheets are beautiful. They will keep your sweetest dreams. Your quietness is beautiful. It can say so much to those who are willing to discover it. Your tired face is beautiful. It will show your battles. Your lost battles. And your conquers. And all the excited adventures that you will experience. 

You need to open your eyes from time to time. And see things with new eyes. Because overall... everything is good.

You are good. 

Magical home-made Chinese food night with International dance ladies.