Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Dazzle me with cold

She admits that she always gets what she wants. And by admitting it and realising how blessed she is - she gets it all. Sooner or later. Sometimes it takes her three years, sometimes a year, yet sometimes even 7. Sometimes it takes her tears, heartbreaks and sleepless nights. Sometimes she just laughs and takes it with the most chilled vibes. Or she sings it out, dances it out or she simply is so honest that nobody doubts her.
She admits the she has gotten what she has wanted. But she also admits that she worked hard - with all the bad and the good; with all the insane and incredible ways; with all the energy and the help from universe.
She's acknowledged to herself that sometimes not getting what she wanted was a wonderful stoke of luck. 

She took it all or nothing. She might realise that it's not hers, she's not yet good enough or somebody else deserves it. 
She left it.
Hoped that the better owner would come along. 
Hoping nothing in return. 

"She was most beautiful  when she did what she wanted;
when she ate what she wanted and sighed in satisfaction. 
When she wore what she wanted and walked in confidence. 
She was particularly spectacular when she loved...
even when she received nothing in return." 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Happiness vol 3

Don't settle for less.

If you find a good playlist - keep it and listen to it. If you find somebody who you like and who's treating you right - keep him and listen to him. If you find a food that you like - get it and fill your body with joy. If you find a movie that you love - watch it... watch it so much that you get sick of it. If you can't find motivation - just start doing. If you don't think you don't have time - take the time and cut out unimportant stuff. If you want to laugh - do it and hard. If you have an imagination how your life should be - start living it.
If you don't want it, don't take it. Don't ever settle for less.
In the end of the day you are in your own body and with your own mind.
One human being.
Don't make yourself settle for less.
You owe it to yourself.

And by the way.
Stop whining about how you don't trust people.
Yes, they might have hurt you before. But now it's literally up to you to start trusting them again.
Don't just give them a chance.
Give yourself a chance.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

A well mind

I think they think they are lucky.
They say I'm the broken one, who keeps trying to find home; who keeps moving because nobody tells her to stop. Well nobody is worth stopping for.
They say I'm the broken one because I keep loving and adoring the life and people around me; because I don't moan on simple difficulties. 
They say I'm the broken one, because I am more alone, just because I'm not with them. 
I think they are lucky.
Yet I'm the one who wakes up; eats breakfast and in the end of the day, goes to sleep with a sun in my heart.
A belief that there is something more than just what is visible for the eye. 
Somebody has a hand on my heart and shoulder. Even when I feel I'm not the lucky one... then I actually know that I am. 
The broken, yet the luckiest one. 

(wanders in stockholm) 

“They tell me that living is like this: bills, three square meals a day, a hobby, and more bills. Sleeping in a bed with someone every night for 50+ years. Never dreaming too big. There is a beast in me that hungers for more, more meaning, more depth, more ocean. Something colorful and loud.

They tell me that living is like this: going on proper dates with proper people, waiting to say I love you, waiting to feel.
Give me the most violent love I can take. Give me God’s angry fire. I can’t survive on air. The words I never said will strangle me in my sleep. I refuse to die in such a quiet way.”
— Flowers that grow in the dark

Monday, March 9, 2015

Hall hommik

Ma vajan päikesetõusu, et avada silmad ja vaadata ringi. Panna enne voodist välja astudes maha parema jala, sest see pidavat õnne tooma. Tõusma ja ringutama. Avama akna ja laskma meretuulel endale seiklusi sisse puhuda. Lükkama mind toast välja astuma. Ma vajan päikesetõusu, et teada, mis suunas oma kurss võtta. Merele ma ei lähe, kuid jalad on ometi all, et hakata astuma. Teha üks samm päikesekiires. Avastada, kui naiivselt ma liigun. Taibata, kui vähe inimesi väljas liigub. Mõista, et tulevad nad välja vihmaga. Et käed risti rinnal siis seista. Et pilguga siis puurida taevasse auku. Et mõista siis anda, kuidas nende soovidele pole vastatud.
Kuid ometi said nad päikesetõusu. Kuid ometi ei ole nad rahul.
Ma ärkan päikesetõusta. Kuid tean, et kui on õige aeg... siis ta tuleb.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Happiness vol-2

Don't leave your happiness alone

My morning thoughts... 
What if you wake up one day, you are 75 and you never told the stupid boy you liked him. Or you didn't get the novel written, you didn't go to beach because you didn't feel comfortable enough. You wake up and realise that you could have had that juicy and incredibly funny life but you threw them away because you were scared that it's not going to last. 
What if you wake up and realise that you didn't laugh that much, or you forgot to cry your eyes out when you needed. Everyday you pushed away silly thoughts about dancing while waiting the bus or taking care of loved ones... because someone somewhere "smart" said that everything is temporary and you should not waste your time. 
Oh my God. Please waste your time. Do everything you want and a little bit more. Do everything to be with your biggest friend - happiness. Laughter is not the only way to fill your days with. But it's the best way in my opinion. 
Take care of your happiness. Do the things that your happiness loves. Treat it good. Call that friend you've been missing or buy a ticket to go and visit your grandmother. Do whatever it takes to make sure that your happiness gets enough food, air and love. 
Don't wake up one day and think "what if." It's going to break your heart. Don't let this happen.