Friday, August 7, 2015

I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I can't stick to the things that make me happy. And healthy. In any ways. 
I'm sorry that I've wasted my time. 
I'm sorry that I haven't spent more time with the ones I love. And like. 
I'm sorry that I make some people more important than myself. 
I'm sorry that I didn't walk, because I thought I was going to miss him out. 
I'm sorry that I rather keep those relationships superficial. And I won't even give them a chance. 
I'm sorry that I let them define me. 
I'm sorry that I've let myself down. 
I'm sorry that I still let them in my lives, even if I told myself not to.
I'm sorry that I didn't take the trash out. 
I'm sorry that I said "I love meat" in front of vegans who never said they "hate meat" or "only eat freaking vegetables." And look where I'm turning now.
I'm sorry that I left before things got interesting. 
I'm sorry that I rather spend time with myself than with those who are just wanting to meet so they could moan about life. 
I'm sorry that I was so scared that I had to do it online. 
I'm sorry that I didn't try enough.
Or that I'm not enough. 

Apologising to myself. Learning to.

But I'm not sorry that I've danced till 4am and wandered down-town till 8am. Until drunkenness turned into soberness.
Not sorry that I've made mistakes. The horrible and also the cool ones. Because now I know how to be even better.
And dance even better.
And maybe be "just enough."

Sometimes wrong choices bring us to the right places. So we could dance till we have to go to work. 

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